Introducing PlaceboPM®
The Weekly Lately #058
PlaceboPM®
…because sleeping is believing
Millions of Americans struggle with confusing and mysterious placebo medication. How do those things work, anyway? And why the heck can’t you operate all of your favorite heavy machinery after taking it?
...And what about nighttime?
Now, there’s hope. From the medical mavericks that brought you Oops, All Scoby!® kombucha (not for human consumption) comes a revolution in placebo medication: PlaceboPM®.
PlaceboPM® is the first possibly inactive sugar pill scientifically formulated for evening use and guaranteed to seem to treat thousands of symptoms. According to randomized clinical trials, self-diagnosed patients receiving PlaceboPM® reported significant decreases in symptoms. At night!
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But don’t take our word for it. Read what our satisfied customers have to say:
Our son’s symptoms would come and go. Every treatment we tried was ineffective or too expensive. Finally, we asked his pediatrician about PlaceboPM®. Now he’s a ward of the state, and we’ve got our date nights back! Margaritas, anyone?
Emily & Doug, Colorado
As a professional ballet dancer my body takes a beating. And I’m being followed by a pair of spooky ghosts! I’ve tried everything from journaling to experimental open heart surgery. Nothing helped. That is, until PlaceboPM®. I think I felt better immediately. Better yet - absolutely zero side effects. It was like I’d never been sick at all – but at night!
Nyugen, Florida
I’ve been practicing medicine for thirty years.
Dr. Thomas J. Hayes, Michigan
Talk to your doctor about PlaceboPM®.